Indigestion. That’s what my last little episode has been put down to. A combination of my heart drugs causing increased stomach acidity and me effectively then overdosing on GTN spray to banish what I assumed to be chest pain…which then increased my heart rate and made me breathless, hence prompting a panic attack in the middle of a sports shop.

Now who looks the fool? Even my good friend Rocky hilariously asked: “So you just needed to burp?” Yes, yes I did! She’s not the only one who has used humour to help us cope…some jokes have been wholly inappropriate yet have definitely brought a welcome smile to my lips.

The trouble is, I experience a heart attack in the same way I do heartburn so it’s pretty tricky to distinguish which is which. The nurses have all told me it’s important I don’t ignore any similar signs but heartburn should disappear with my new friends Gaviscon and Omeprazole gastro-resistant capsules (move over GTN). And most importantly…and certainly easier said than done when you’re already freaked out by your badly behaved heart…I have to stay calm.

I am, however, happy to report my sixth urinary tract infection since Christmas has subsided with the latest dose of antibiotics. Not a clue if that’s related to any of my recent medical foibles but at least I’m finally getting a good night’s sleep, and not bumbling off to the loo in a half comatose state every couple of hours.

Given sarcoidosis appears to be the main medical culprit for my shit start to the year, I am going to try and control it with an anti-inflammatory diet…even it’s just a placebo I’m willing to give the sugar pill a whirl. Well actually there won’t be any refined sugar or saturated fat.

I would usually say “kill me now” but you and I know I very much want to live.