Thursday 28th March 2019:
It was my second day at rehab today and this time I dressed the part. I hadn’t received the full letter explaining what the first session would involve and I just assumed it would be a sit-down introduction. They must have secretly rolled their eyes at me when I rocked up in ripped jeans and a white t-shirt. If I’d have seen me I would definitely have whispered, under my breath, something akin to: “Who’s she come as? Bros!”
The class was just as enjoyable as the last session and I’ve made a few more “heart attack buddies”. The bond is inexplicable – they totally get it! We all know where we’ve each been and the way it’s changed us. I know there’s no-one in that gang who won’t alter something in their lives now. Some have already quit smoking, others are looking at changing their jobs, while a few are planning to take that holiday they’ve always promised themselves they’d do “one day”.
Collectively most of us gave meditation a go for the first time today. I sat on the back row like a class trouble maker trying my best not to snigger at the sight of such an eclectic bunch of unlikely Buddhas. However, we were all in it together and once we stopped being self-conscious it was actually quite useful. I’d much rather have been on the white sandy beach the teacher was asking us to imagine we were sinking our toes into but I guess it was a close second, and better than the Yeovil actuality.
I’ve also booked my first session with a life coach today…another NHS service I had absolutely no idea existed until the nurse practitioner at my doctor’s surgery, Leah, suggested it might be a positive step for me. The scheme is aimed at folk who have experienced a serious medical episode or illness. My coach, Chris, will hopefully enable me to make decisions about every aspect of my existence. It’s about taking back control and realising what’s important to me and building a positive future (something I had doubted even existed three weeks ago).
I feel so lucky to still be here and there was nothing better than taking an unaccompanied stroll…completely on my own…down Sherborne high street in the sunshine earlier…headphones on and tunes blaring. Ok, so I did have to park my bum on a couple of benches on the way down the hill from home and check my pulse to reassure myself I was still in the land of the living, but it was at least some momentum (in more ways than one).
Another smile-inducer was receiving my “get well” cards from work and the realisation that many colleagues (and friends) are reading this blog. They were even signed by the BBC Online team in Birmingham who usually sub-edit the news stories I write before they are published. Touched doesn’t even come close…though I am now conscious they are undoubtedly silently editing my copy…right…now!