Saturday 11th May 2019:

For how long is it acceptable to play the “heart attack card”?

Leaving hospital in a Wonder Woman dressing down – “It’s fine, I’ve just had a heart attack. Let them judge me.”

Screaming, argumentative kids – “For crying out loud, Mummy’s just had a heart attack, so unless you want to give me another one please kill each other quietly.”

Picking up the kids from school/general errands – “Pretty please can YOU do it today. I’m tired. I HAVE just had a heart attack you know. I might have a nap on the sofa.”

Getting a new car for yourself when it’s actually your husband’s car that needs replacing – “You can have my car. It’s a good car. I NEEEEED a new one. I’ve just had a heart attack. I nearly died.”

Midlife crisis complete…maybe!

P.S. If you fancy a 17-year-old VW Beetle, I know a decent one going for a good price. Erm…have I mentioned I’ve just had a heart attack?